Some nights, Mother Nature will reveal herself to demonstrate her brilliance as an artist. With her canvas set up she begins to compose her masterpiece. She begins with a gentle breeze rustling through the leaves creating beautiful sounds second only to the laughs of children and the sweet whispers of “I love you.” That combined with the friendly hoot of a nearby owl and the accompaniment of the chirping crickets she managers to create a symphony of sounds. She splits the clouds in every direction until the sky is clear; allowing her friends in the heavens to fill the sky with their illuminant dancing; each striving to out shine and be more marvelous than all the others. The sweet scents of newly budding flowers fill vast empty space between the heavens and the earth. I first witnessed this god given talent the night my debt would be called forth.
After the collecting of each new soul I find myself returning to that park to reflect. I sit atop a bench looking, searching, for Nature. I desperately scan the heavens but only greeted with clouds. I sit quietly hoping to catch a single note of a symphony I once heard. I take deep breaths but flowers no longer seem to bud anymore and the only scent is that of the crimson blood on my hands. I can only assume that she’s punishing me or avoiding the horrors that I bring back to her park. So every night now I sit atop my bench staring out into the park questioning my actions and reflect on the tasks of my new job. When I look out into the park I think about all the souls I’ve taken, all the other lives affected by my actions, and the soul that I wish I didn’t have to take. Every night I think about that first night in this park and the conversation that would change my life.
***
I sat in the corner of her dark room and watched my next claim sleeping. Peaceful in her sleep I knew what was going to happen to her in the coming day and hated everything about me for what I was tasked to do. That was the longest night that I had ever experienced.
A mother of a beautiful six year old and a wife to a successful business man; her life was about as perfect as one could dream about. Seven years ago she was attending the local university in the pursuit of her Master’s Degree for writing and journalism. On a specific life track; she had just about every minute of the next two years planned out. Like everything else in life she couldn’t account for all of the unknowns and learned to modify her life track accordingly. What she would soon find is that no matter how hard she tried to stay on track there is at least one moment in life that would temp her dedication. That moment… was a man.
Through a series of events outside of her norm she was lead down a different path. On Thursdays, for the first two years into her Master’s program, she always woke up, ate the same two eggs and toast breakfast, ran two miles, showered, went to work at the newspaper, and after work would go to the library to study and finish her class assignment. Fortunately, one night a power outage turned her alarm off and she woke up hours after she normally would. Feeling rushed and an urgency to get back on track she skipped her breakfast and two mile run to quickly shower, get ready, and hoped to be on her way to work as close to the norm as possible. Finally at work she would be a few minutes late but the psychological effect already set in and all day just seemed off. While at work one of the regular columnists had called out sick and there was a mad rush to get a half page story for page six. Stricken with a horrible flu and unable to work from home the editor made the decision to give her the story to run on page six. Excited for the opportunity she accepted but she would be forced to spend the remainder of her day and night writing it. When she got off work she had gone to a local diner where she ordered two eggs and toast, told the waitress to keep the coffee coming.
For hours she worked on the assignment and around 3am she was finally done. She had emailed her hard work to her editor and lying back in her booth exhausted and nearly falling asleep. Finally able to relax she asked for another refill of her coffee and her bill while she reflected on the day’s events. The courteous waitress soon returned with the coffee but no bill. When she questioned the lack of her bill the waitress smiled and advised that the gentlemen at the counter had already taken care of it. Eager to get home she quickly finished her drink, left a few dollars on the table and began to walk out. When she arrived at the door to leave she stopped and looked back at the man who had taken care of her bill. As soon as their eyes locked something unexplainable happened. She turned from the door and approached the man to say thank you. The two talked for hours and by the time they left the sun had already been out for a while. The two had been together every day since.
Soon after their meeting they began to date and within a few weeks she was pregnant. Everything she had planned and every routine was quickly broken. Only a few credits shy of finishing school she had the baby and still her life never getting back to normal. She found her world turned upside down; she was married, there was a newborn, she took some time off from school, and quit her job but yet she never stopped smiling. She knew that none of that was part of her plan but since that night in the dinner she didn’t care. Every morning when she woke she would look at her husband and at the smiling face of her daughter and her face would light up. She smiled as if she finally everything was exactly as she wanted it, not a shred of regret; no one would suspect that she just a year earlier was on a completely different path.
Her new life would grow into a whole new and different routine. She woke every morning before everyone else with a smile and began to prepare breakfast for her family. While breakfast was being fixed her husband would wake the baby and get her ready for the day and the three of them would eat together. After breakfast the child would play in her room or watch TV as she would keep her husband company while he finished getting ready for work. That hour in the morning is the most precious moment of her day; since the baby her and the discovery of what she feels is her perfect match things haven’t been so easy. They bought a house and with the expenses of a child money has been tight and to make ends meet her husband has been putting in extra hours to ensure a life style he feels she deserved. The true testament of their commitment and love for each other is that through all the struggling and sacrifices they still wake up together smiling and go to sleep each night in each other’s arms. As soon as he leaves for a long day at work the two ladies of the house spend the entire day together.
Their daughter is a beautiful and smart kid and loved her mom. Until the age of five the little one would follow mommy and would mimic and try to do everything mommy did. When it was time to wash the morning dishes the little girl would run to her room to get her kitchen play set, drag it to the kitchen and would make believe she was also washing dishes. When mommy would fold the laundry the little girl would run to her room and get all her baby dolls clothes and would start to fold little doll dresses. Even in the car she had a toy steering wheel and would help mommy drive to all of her errands. That was until she turned six years old and found a new passion and that was school.
Once her daughter was enrolled into school she found that she had a lot of extra time throughout the day not having to parade around her amazing daughter. With everyone she loved working or in school she had no one to talk to or interact during the day and found a lot of time to think and reflect. She thought a lot but always positive and with a certain excitement for the next chapter in her life and never once doubted her life choices or regretted anything. She did however think about an old idea, a path that she once followed. Feeling comfortable with her life she thought about how close she was to finishing school. So one night after the little princess had been put to sleep she would rummage through some boxes to find her old school work. After looking through her old books and notes she felt a fire inside her flare up; she wanted to also go to school. With the loving support of her husband they agreed that going back to school and finishing her Master’s Degree would be a great idea, plus it would give her something to do with her day. So shortly after their daughter started kindergarten the once writer and aspirating journalist decided to go back to school.
***
(Flashback: Contract Signing)
A bright light flashes and the next thing I know I’m outside at a nearby park sitting on a bench. “It’s time for you to work now. You aren’t going to get my souls watching your old family.” Lucifer continued, “We had a deal and its time that you start. 1,000 souls will not collect themselves and 1,000 souls is a lot of work.”
My heart is racing and tears are pouring from my face at the recent sight of my wife’s defilement and the approach of pure evil to my daughter’s room, “Wait… what happened?” my tone begins to escalate, “Send me back, I need to help her.” Lucifer stands there no responding and rage begins to build within me, “SEND ME BACK RIGHT NOW GOD DAMN IT!” Rage now radiates through my body and I start to approach Lucifer, “SEND ME BACK OR TELL ME WHAT…”
Interrupting me, Lucifer stands firm and with little emotion in his face. “I warned you once about taking that tone with me.” He said calmly.
Caught off guard and nearly tripping over myself I manage to keep my balance. Hearing his warning soothed the beast of rage inside me, “I’m sorry. Please send me back; I need to know what happened.”
Looking distracted, I notice Lucifer looking around as if checking to ensure there we were alone and speaks in that same calm voice, “God in all his infinite knowledge cannot control man but knows everything that man will do,” Stopped now dead in my tracks I find myself intrigued at what he’s saying. “God knew that the home invasion was coming and how horrific it was going to be. So to show mercy he took them early and in less pain. But by sending them back without the accident, events unfolded as they were suppose too.” As he continues to talk I find myself held in suspense, hanging on every word he says. “Let me start from the beginning. Before the existence of the universe there was God. God is a loving man but was always alone. An urge and desire for companionship began to consume him and that was when he decided to create the universe. Within the universe that he created he also created earth and the idea of man. Man was to be his greatest accomplishment and would be the validation of love he yearned for. Wanting the love to be real and genuine he bestowed upon man the power of free will. Underestimating the exact power of free will he did all he could to make his spiritual presence known. Unfortunately for him he quickly found out that when given a choice or free will, man wasn’t guaranteed to love him.”
Lucifer notices the confused look on my face and gave me a little smirk of a smile and continues with his tale. “He did everything he could to talk to man and to show his existence but man is stupid. Man listened and acknowledged that there was a presence, but like a horrible game of telephone man misinterpreted his existence, thus birthing the idea and concepts of multiples religions. Man had taken the simple idea of god and through individual filters of interpretation man quickly saw god as controller of lightning, an elephant with six arms, a large black cat woman, and a carpenter, along with several others. God hates the idea that people are more or less just making stuff up and then passing it off as his word.”
“Where do you come into play in all of this?” I asked.
“Where do I come into play?” Lucifer repeated, but as he said it he showed the first signs of emotion. It almost looks like sadness. He turns his head to look away and stares into the sky, “Growing more upset and tired with man God all but gave up on them. He returned to the heavens to contemplate his actions and what he was going to do next. While he sat up there pondering his problems with loneliness; man had been allowed to run rampant back on Earth. Given all the freedoms God had given, man imploded. Man began to turn on each other; death, war, famine, and pestilence plagued the earth. Man had even taken to destroying their own planet. Eventually God found his answer for everything, companionship, and getting man back on track; he thought he knew where the flaw was in his original plan. This is when I was created; God didn’t need thousands or millions of people to love him or keep him company, he just needed one person to love him, to keep him company. So God went to work on creating a single person that would also have free will and choice but the one thing he would do different was he would create this person with a piece of his being.”
“So you are a god of some sort?” I questioned trying to wrap my head around everything I just heard. “Aren’t you the bad guy? I mean the devil that rules the kingdom of hell” I added.
His head rolls back away from the sky and Lucifer is staring at me and says, “You humans are so fucking stupid sometime. You all think you know so much about everything.” His tone was getting louder, but Lucifer stopped and composed himself before continuing. “I guess you could call me a god since I am technically made up of one. Since God created me with part of him I do have powers and will live forever. See, God created me as someone that could personally know him and whom could live with him forever. By giving me a part of him he felt that I could relate to his problems and would help him with his problems. After a short time with him problems started to brew. He was always complaining about something or had some brilliant idea. One day I couldn’t take it anymore and I stood up to him. I had opinions and view of my own about how he handled the “man” situation and confronted him about his commitment issues. Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well. I swear I meant no disrespect or malice towards him but I felt it was important to try to reach him. Through all my attempts, there was nothing I could do or say to please him and in a fit of rage from feeling abandoned and betrayed he had banished me to Earth.”
***
Once the wife/mother started school her passion for writing was reborn and burned with a passion. She remembered how much she enjoyed it and how well she was at it. She would remember a time past and the path she had set for herself, and although she regretted nothing of her decision that took her off that path, she started thinking if that path was still available. “Why not?” she thought, she began to analyze her situation and realized that with her daughter in school most of the day and the loving support of her husband she would be able to pursue her writing again. The more she thought about it the more she became excited. She knew that she wouldn’t get the best jobs like she originally thought but she would be writing and if she could find work it could only help.
As the final days of that semester drawing to an end she finally built up the confidence she needed to address her new idea with her husband. When she got hone she was greeted with a pleasant surprise, he husband was home from work. As she pulled into the driveway she thought the worst about the unexpected presence of her husband and immediately thought the worst and that maybe he lost his job and her dream to write would have to be pushed back. Just as she exits the car and gathers her things she sees her beautiful daughter runs from the house laughing and smiling. Following the happy child she noticed her husband standing in the door way smiling just as big as their daughter. Seeing all the happiness and the reassuring smile from her husband all the negative thoughts coursing through her head seemed to instantly fade away.
Once inside the house her husband explained why he was smiling and why he was home so early. He told her the story of his day from when he left the house that morning to right then. He told a story about a man who once he arrived at work he was asked to see his boss in his office. The story continued with how he entered his boss’ office and when the conversation ended, he would leave a colleague, or a managing partner. Tears ran from his face, after years of working as hard as he did, he finally gained the recognition he deserved and was promoted. His wife was just as excited and as the two hugged and held each other tight he continued to explain what this meant.
He advised that there would no longer be long hours and double shifts, there was no more struggling for money or paying the bills, and he would be home a lot more to help around the house, finally be a good husband and finally advised that he wants his wife to finish school, find a job, and follow the path she once abandoned for her family. Hearing that her heart filled with so much joy, the same joy she had only experienced twice in her life: marrying her husband and the birth of her daughter. Her husband also advised that he wants the family to take a vacation and maybe something special for their daughter.
The family soon got to work on possible vacation destinations and the whole family had a say. They struggled to pick the perfect vacation and were stuck between the ocean, going up north to the snow, or the biggest amusement park in the country. Having plenty of time to decide then man of the house pulled rank and advised the two ladies of the house that no decision would be made right away and that he had a different surprise, he was talking the whole family to the circus in town. After the announcement of the night festivities at the circus the smallest family member shrieked with overwhelming excitement. Every night that her father was home and able to put his little girl to bed there was always a bedtime story about the circus and over the years that she can remember she had always had a fascination with the circus, mainly the elephants.
A few days passed and as the family were planning their trips and packing their bags I watched as their house became alive with laughter, happiness, and filled with the three members that through tough times and financial difficulty never forgot the love they have for each other and knew the value of their family and love for each other. I watch the married couple talk more than they have in years and the tenderness of their touch as they felt the need to be as close together as possible. I watch for hours just torturing myself with the reminder about a life I once had, will never get back, and has been pretty much forgotten. As the sun began to set on her last night living I had started to rethink the upcoming events and wonder if I could change it.
The next day I watch as everyone wakes up with smiles. The day’s activities and the start of their new lives was what this family needed and rightfully deserved. Their morning routines were the same in what they did, but it was done much slower. Their movements flowed peacefully as they repeat the same tasks as they had for weeks, months before; gliding as if floating, no longer weighted down, the pressures of life lifted from their shoulders. I followed the family the whole day as they laughed and smiled in a way that was far and in between from the life of yesterday, they were doing as a family. Watching this tortured me and began to hate everything I had become and hated more at what I was becoming. I know the deal with Lucifer claimed my soul but for a man with no soul my heart ached.
Fighting desperately to feel something other than pain and despair I felt I had to do something drastic. I began to reverse the upcoming events. Concentrating as hard as I could I took on a task never thought or considered an option before as I started to bend fate in a way that was unethical in my current career path and started to manipulate my previous work back to its original happy ending that was destined for them. The strain of correcting fate worn on my body and at times almost quit, the only saving grace and driving force to fight through the pain was the love heard and felt as the family enjoyed their day.
Just as I had finished the fate adjustment Lucifer appeared; the look in his eye was nothing I had ever seen before. Our eyes locked and I could see into his soul. I was confused at what I had seen in his soul versus the tone of the scolding I received. Trying to understand the images of his soul I was quickly distracted as I watched Lucifer return the fate’s back to my original saddened fate. Irritated at his actions I confront and demand an explanation. Lucifer had reminded me of the contract and the scope of my abilities; adding that he gave me free will to pick and choose my souls but also reminded me that I had agreed to never second guess my work and he reserved the right to demand certain souls and he was demanding my original plan to play through to fruition. Enraged at being undermined and forced to do something I was against I pleaded with him, begging not to let this happen to show the same mercy he once showed me when questioned about my daughter. Lucifer shook his head and warned me never to do that again or question his decision. He turned around and began walking away when I heard a car door close and the mother beginning to drive away. Noticing the husband waving good-bye I knew it was time. Feeling defeated and responsible for what was soon to happen I phased myself into the back seat of the car and sat there offering what little comfort I could. Within a few minutes, I whisper a quiet apology and good-bye as I hung my head down in sorrow, tightly closing my eyes; while bracing myself a single tear ran down my cheek, and reflected the lights of an oncoming truck.
